letters

Realised i've quite some friends that care. But i just cant make myself relate to them. Haha. The ones i can. Guess i've lost them already. Just like what i wrote in "reflections" for ms kwan.

"I'll lose them before june next year. Not much of my friendships last. They never seem to, no matter how much i want them to."

Dont feel like writing another letter. Maybe i'll just wait another 3 years or so. Lolx. See first la. Easier, mail her a card for christmas. Write less. =/

avalon - testify to love

Testify to Love by Avalon

All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
Reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I shall testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to Love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the seas
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step dom come
All the hope in every heart will
Speak what Love has done.

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love.

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to Love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough.
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to Love.

I usually dont post lyrics, just parts of it. But really like the song. Lolx.

Feeling really happy today. Ignore yesterday's posts was feeling rather eccentric again then. Haha. Mood swings of the worst kind. Keke.

Anyway, will be clearing contacts later on. Cleaning up the memory in my hp, msn and icq contact list. Pray that i delate you. This way you wont need to endure another year of my bothering and irritating. Lolx. You may appeal if i dont. =D

neighbourhood

Haha. Was reading vanessa's blog, she was mentioning how bad this year's camp teen was. Lolx. Coz i never go mah. *Ego ego* I'll check with my school's sec 2 later on. They didnt sleep in tents this time. Oh well. The tents were really comfy. Lolx. Mmm.. Think i'll drop bernard a line later. See how's he doing. Been months since i called. I didnt answer his question. Haha. I'm always late. Oh well. Think he's found someone else by now. Sooo..

Anyway, this is a extract of one of vanessa's past entry. She and a couple of friends went to junction 8 to catch the idols.

anyway we just joined the line la. then there was this two chinese girls sitting behind us. they started talking about me la. say i very pretty but i look like a bitch.. very unapprochable. then i was like, "i understand chinese you know." then they were like, "oh! sorry sorry!" assholes.

Vanessa dear, you're one of the only females i know that uses such colourful language. Lolx. But quite true la. You look really chio, but also damn cold. Hehe. x)

neighbourhood

Drumming can be completed in 36 hours. Didnt take it, decided on something else, dont ask. See how the lessons go first. Oh well. Besides, dont want the people down the lane coming up to complain due to my drumming.

Btw, realised that jeremy(he's one of the sons of the couple at 6 jbt, he's about my age) plays the piano. Was walking pass his place when i heard the music. Thought was the girls at 20 jbt but coz mum was still behind so decided to just stop and look at the dog when i realised it was jeremy that was playing the piano. He plays it really well too. =/

Still. I know less than a handful of the people in my street. Lolx. On the other hand, my two younger sisters are rather popular figures here. I think shameen(5 jbt, sisters good pal)'s mum is still having her garage sale, saw some of the guys in her church go to her place during the afternoon. Think was after practice or something. Their instruments were in that van.

Oh yea. There was this wedding ceremony this morning at 1 jbt. The bride arrived in this darn cute PINK COLOURED LONDON TAXI. Was really really really soooooo cute~~~!! Haha !

i lost mail

Was going to post the letters today. Lost all three of them. Diaox. Haix. Bad luck. Lately it hasnt been mailing days.

Anyway, being the nice person/r i am. I've updated my links. =D
Adeline's page is not dead, just password protected. Password's my favourite food. Chocolates. Hehe. Oh and do check out JunHao's page. =)

you've got mail

Went to east coast yesterday. Honestly, I'm scared. Really. You should know why. I told you before.

Was writing some letters to some people today. Yea sure i'm old. But to me letters are something more precious that an e-mail. A letter is something that you can always carry with you. It's something more real. Closer to reality than an e-mail. Much closer. Much warmer than a cold screen.

Anyway, like i said, was writing letters to some people today, then, while looking for my address book, i found this letter. This letter than was sent to me some time back. A letter from someone whom offered me a path to knowing more about myself. Yet. I didnt reply her then. Now. I had finally gathered enough courage to write back. It took me 3 years. Even though i doubt she remembers me. But i guess, i really owe her this reply.

yunx

Brought the iBook down to apple centre@funan yesterday. The iBook was working perfectly there. Crap. Wasted 2 hours. I forgot to bring the warranty and got Ting to bring it down. Only thing is she took a longer time to go to my place and get it than i would've taken to go back home and get it. Sheesh.

Anyway, got scolded by the doc for straining the back again. Oh well. Guess i'll have to return for another 4 sessions. The right side hurts pretty badly now. Remind me not to climb again until i've recovered. Oh well.

On a sidenote, i've put on a kilo. Sad. I really need the exercise.

=/

3 more days. Please. Stay with me till the storm's over. You're the only one i can count on now.

Sian. Ting and Lan birthday tomorrow. Yupz. Managed to get them something. Haha. Mmm.. Think i'm gonna be No. 1 on their sabotage list. Oh well. Will be leaving early anyway. Pl bbq at east coast later on. In the end, she's going. I hope she puts on a tube like what Celesee did that time after several "suggestions". Chiobu !! *snickers*

Think my mum knows what i'm planning to do already. She's usually the first to comment on my addition of any accessories but kept quiet this round. Most likely she doesnt know how to tackle the topic. Just like the time when she saw that picture i took with him. Heh.

Still indulging in techno. Got a slight headache from it though. Crap.

dam dariram.. i'm fallin' in love again..

X/

Feeling drowsy. Sheesh. Can't even seem to hold a bottle nowadays. Don't ask. Was just feeling bored. Really. Lyon, still got a bottle left. Want ? Haha.

Anyway... Better finish this before i knock off..

Homework done some. Left with mainly english and the freakin' chinese compo. Argh. I'll do your whole english assignment if you'll gimmi ideas for my chinese. Come on. Please~

A math. Heh. Did one paper. Got half the paper wrong. Oh well. At least i finally managed to engage a tutor now. =/

Oh yea. Bought one blue iPod mini. 458 . Days old: 3 . Defects: 4 scratches, 1 slighhtly chipped bottom. Well........ Sad. Very. Going down Funan next week. My iBook's acting up. Heh.

I wanna go back camp teen. Mish all of you. Anyone willing to go there with me ? I doubt any of the PLs're sporting enough to go back to the same campsite for like the 3rd time. We're not selected this time, the sec2s're going, so i'll just have to find a way to get an application form to sneak in. Lolx.

The atmosphere there was so different from the sec3 camp. So much more fun. So many people for so different background. Haha. That st pats guy from Itchy that was soooooooooo annoying. Either he had an over dose of authority or has always been deprived of the chance to lead. Heh. Then.. Yea.. Still remember him.. He was nice.. Really friendly.. Was kinda shy then. Haha.. *blush* Mmm.. Oooohh yeah!! Dickson. Yea. The huge idiot/pervert/mad man from Big. Lolx. Crazy fellow. But of course, we're the greatest. Afterall, we met, we bonded, we danced, we laughed, we won, we celebrated, we teared and i doubt we forgot. Lolx. Go chihuahua~!! Really wanna experience that spirit once more. Love you guys. *Muackz*

*bounce*

*hop hop hop*

Out of my life, depressing stuff.

Was fixing the template for his blog last night. Spent more time than i thought i would. Four freaking hours and still got some minor stuff left to do.

Finished the sewing le. Yeah~!! But in the binded the 5 signature wrongly. Then lazy me thought it wont make a difference so i didnt re-do. End up when finished then realised how unsightly it looked. Argh. Too bad la. Suan le. Took me 3 hours. Am so not gonna re-bind the whole book.

Mmm.. Going out later in the afternoon to pick up some stuff. Including that iPod Mini. Yea. Mini won. But what colour ?!!! The pink's so kewl. Silver's really nice too. Then the blue. Looks so.. So.. Urmx. So blue nah. -.-

Oh well. I'll decide later. The worst that can happen is that i'll spend the rest of my holidays regreting it. =D

Before i go though, need to think of how to decorate the book. Sheesh. She had better not give me any less that a 70% for this. Not that i care about the grade but can you believe it, just for the fun of it, i worked so hard on this book. I must be nuts already. Oh well. Left with only 7 weeks of the holidays. How did time pass so fast ?! Haix.

why

Why didnt you tell me how you were feeling.

Why didnt you let me know.

Because of our differences again ?

Do you realise how much it's hurting me ?

Why cant you just let me care for you.

ouch.

Feeling like crap.

Realised there's more than one way to numb your brain.

Techno is not the only source.

Punk works just fine.

Thanks john.

"House where got space ?!!"

And so goes my dreams of taking up drumming. Not that i'm really upset about it since the drumset'll most likely end up in some dusty corner after a month or so. That is if my sisters dont wreak it before the month ends.

Going down to Funan later while Ting wants to go shopping after the trip. Told mum bout trip to Funan not Ting's shopping spree.
Mum: You got money not ?
Me : Okay la.
Mum: You wanna buy clothes or anything you buy first. I pay you back later.
Me : Orh.

Is she psychic ? Heheheew

Now. To look for something fun to do during the holidays. Jewerlly making ? Lolx.

holidays~~

Despite Ting's provoking. I've decided to slack during this holidays. =)

Flipping through the newspapers lately. Unlike some of my friends and classmates whom're trying to lok for jobs to make some extra cash during the holis, i'm trying to find some crash course type lessons. Not that i dont need the money i've less than 500 to spend during this whole holis. Think i'm gonna coop myself up for most of november. This way i'll save some money + not gain as much weight. The outside world is full of temptation.

End up despite not going for the lunch offer at pizza hut with them yesterday they made me go for the dessert. Called me up while i was at the library screaming at me to come over. Reached there. Oreo cheesecake and ice cream. Gave me a ton of reason on why i must eat. So fattening. It's even worst than cheese. >.<

Doing the e math paper from scgs now. Boring paper. I only at paper 1 , q7 . Haix. Going jogging later. Then finishing the rest of the e math papers. Wanna get rid of the e math papers today. Then tackling the a math ones tomorrow. Heard that quan qi and co wanted to play badminton today. Not in mood to socialise though.

I need to lose weight. I need more money for the holidays

*bump*

*bump*

Depressing stuff. Get out of my life.

Ookay.. Well, most likely watching Shark Tales with rosalind and wileen on tomorrow after their *free lunch* with Mr Poon at Pizza Hut for achieving their targets for a math. They were bargaining with him during the remedial that saturday before the a math finals. Me no treat. =((

Lolx. What happened was like this.

-7.00-
Step One - *Rolled about in bed*
Step Two - *Eyes peered open*
Step Three - *Picked up hp to check the time*
Step Four - Me : 7 only.. Starting at 9 .. Sleep.

-8.00-
Repeat Step One to Three.
Step Five - Me : 8 only.. Still got time.. Sleep.

-9.00-
Repeat Step One to Three again.
Step Six - Me : Argh!!!! Late ! Late ! Late !
Step Seven - *Panic. Grab clothes. Rush to bathroom*
Step Eight - No elaboration. Bath.

And so, i finished at 9.30 and then decided not to go seeing it was already so late. Therefore i wasnt included in it.

Since my normal standard is like rosalind's. His target for me would've been the same as Ros', which was a B4. End up my results ? Missed A2 by half mark. Oh well.

On a sidenote, i need to lose weight. So i'm not really bothered by it since cheese is fattening too. I'm fat. I need to shed a few kilos during this holis. Gonna jog the stretch of Siglap Link tomorrow morning before the movie.

Aunt came over as usual. Brought her family along. Grandma went out with my parent, aunt and her husband slightly before my tuition ended. Came back soon after it ended at bout 6.15. Grandma wasnt feeling well again. She took some medicine then rested. She have not even eaten yet. Maid cooked some porriage for her but she says that she does not have any appetite. She's sleeping now. Just now was listening to her talk. Didnt know what to say. Didnt say anything much back. Know she cant hear it anyway so rather not say too much in case i end up shouting at her. Realise how she's shrunk. Realised how much i love her. Realised how much i need her. Please get well.

It's been a year already. Check-ups at hospitals show nothing wrong. Yet. Why is she still like this.

Hate it whenever she starts vomitting and all. Feel so useless. So scared. Dont wanna lose her. Been thinking bout some stuff lately. Realised even though we live together, i dont talk to her much. Sometimes in a day i may not even talk to her at all. Then today only when it happened again did i realise how i've always took her presence for granted.

Please dont go.

it's amazing

List of Missing Items

1. Book - Mirrodin Cycle 1
2. Book - Physics Practical
3. Book - Chemistry Practical
4. Cd - Richard Marx ( Ballads )
5. Cd - Groove Coverage ( 7 years and 50 days )
6. Homework - English Paper
7. Yearbook
8. Brain
9. You

Miss you a lot.
>.<

bleah

Today was the last day of the extended programme. Dunno if now should be happy or not. Lolx. Boredom kills. >.<

Went down with Johnathan and co to Bugis and left rather early.. Forgot the time for my appointment with the doctor. Lolx. Thought it was 2.30 instead of 2. Oh well. So rushed back down. Yada yada. Same routine.

Anyway.. Was feeling rather bored and since both sisters were out with my neighbours watching Shark Tale. Decided to play the sims 2 just now. Just when things were starting to get real well my comp hanged. Before i saved. Bleah. Haix. Oh well.

Planning to finish most homework by next week. Still have not decided how I'm gonna plan my time on 21st. Argh. I want a new pair of inline skates.

>.<

Two more days. E math tomorrow. Homework not done. Feel like sleeping late. Imma pig. Everyday say wanna go jogging end up also didnt. Haix. I need to lose weight. 9%. Still say you fat. Crap la.

Still sewing. Had to re-do coz the thread broke. Tiring. Wonder if it's really worth the time. Chatting with john online. Complaining bout my results and thinking of getting joshua to come out for a math tutoring. =/

Hey. I'm desperate for help in it, okay ?

apple pies!

Eh.. Forgoten what i wanted to say le..

Am in this really dreamy state lately for some reason.. Oh well..

Anyway.. Did another 3 more signatures for the book.. 80 pages now.. Cover's done up, everything's done except for the binding and the bag to store it.. >.<

Omg. Just remembered. My veggies~!! Think they're starting to rot by now.. >.<

Was supposed to draw the TS and LS of some fruits during bio today.. Didnt have the time to finish it in school so brought some stuff which i didnt think i have home to complete. Only thing is that i dont feel like drawing. So they're most likely decomposing in my room right now. Hope i remember to dump them before i sleep. Urgh.

bounce

And so we start anew.

Not really. Lolx. Anyway, changed the template. Leonice's one lasted for quite some time already. Help me thank your sis mervyn. >.<

Another "beary" template. Ran it on the pigs will fly blog till got most stuff settled before changing. Took a night. I work slow. Oh well.

Placed up links too. Some that i recall. Need more time to check up on the rest though. Oh well.

Did up the signatures needed for the english journal just now. Have not poked the holes though. Maybe doing it tomorrow after school or something.. Then can start on cover and sewing le.. Hate the sewing part. Most work as well as hardest part. Haix.